


Pidge: An Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

by Horizonholds



Series: Paladins: Owners' Guide and Maintenance Manual [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, No Plot/Plotless, Other, what is this I don't even
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2018-12-03 22:38:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11541873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Horizonholds/pseuds/Horizonholds
Summary: Congratulations on the purchase of your very own Katie Holt, aka your “Pidge.” This manual will provide you with all the information you need on the proper use and maintenance of your Green Paladin of Voltron, so she can continue saving the galaxy and breaking into government facilities for years to come.





	1. Chapter 1

Congratulations on the purchase of your very own Katie Holt, aka your “Pidge.” This manual will provide you with all the information you need on the proper use and maintenance of your Green Paladin of Voltron, so she can continue saving the galaxy and breaking into government facilities for years to come.

### Specifications

  * **Model** : #65D43C_GreenPaladin_2016
  * **Manufacturer** : Dreamworks-World Events, Subdivision Mir
  * **Manufacture Date** : 2016
  * **Operating System** : VoltronLegendaryDefenderSeason2_2016
  * **Species** : Human
  * **Hair Color:** Blonde 
  * ****Eye Color:** Yellow**
  * **Height** : 5’5
  * **Weight** : 120lbs
  * **Length** : N/A
  * **Birthday** : April 3rd
  * **Age** : “Teenager.” Furthermore, all Pidge models are under the age of 18. They also come equipped with a button that lets them speed dial Chris Hansen.



### Accessories

  * One (1) Green Lion of Voltron. … good luck with parking.
  * One (1) Green bayard
  * One (1) change of clothes
  * One (1) complete laptop
  * Three (3) processors
  * Two (2) modems
  * Six (6) external hard drives
  * Numerous sticks of RAM of different types
  * Two (2) radio sequencers
  * One (1) miniature satellite dish. (We think it’s a satellite dish. She grinned when we asked.)
  * One (1) flying drone that answers to “Rover”



### Unpacking and Installation

Your Pidge will arrive in one of three ways:

  * A shuttle will crash in your front lawn. We are not responsible for damages.
  * She will settle herself on a tall building or outcropping of rock with her satellite dish. You will need to retrieve her. She has been known to make this as difficult as possible. You may need to enlist the assistance of a Lance model.
  * Out of a wormhole while flying in blue lion of Voltron. Figure eights, barrel rolls, and other acrobatics may be present while Lance showboats. This method of arrival is most common if you’ve purchased the Paladin Box Set, as a Keith, Lance, Hunk, and Shiro model will also be present. If you did not purchase the Paladin Box Set, please return your extra Paladins.



Once she has been removed from her packaging, provide Pidge access to an electrical outlet and your wifi password. If you don’t, she will eventually find these things on her own, and then torment you for not just giving them to her in the first place.

 **Warning** : Improper manhandling of your Pidge may result in assault from onlookers who think you are kidnapping or molesting a small child.

### Uses

Your Pidge speaks English, and thanks to the translation chip/magic she can understand several thousand languages. And, in addition to being an impressive example of a caffiene crazed conspiracy theorist, Pidge is an accomplished:

  * **Paladin of Voltron** : As a Paladin of Voltron, Pidge can pilot spacecraft, and is a decent combatant.
  * **Computer Software Engineer** : Pidge is well known for her ability to create new programs, and hack into security software and databases. If it's software related, Pidge is your girl. This however, can have some unanticipated side-effects, such as the singularity.
  * **Infiltration Specialist** : Since Pidge is prone to making stealth devices, this better enables her to break into and enter places she really ought not to be. Whether it’s your ex’s old home or a government facility, Pidge can and will get into it.
  * ~~John McClaine~~ **Home Security Expert** : Pidge is also excellent at keeping people out of your own home, and making the lives of those who do manage it utterly miserable. She kept the Castle of Lions from being stolen, she can definitely make your home a nightmare for unwanted guests with some preparation.



### Care and Maintenance

Your Pidge is easy to take care of. She’s self feeding and self cleaning, so as long as food and appropriate bathing facilities are provided, she’ll take care of herself. You will want to provide space that is solely for her use, so she has somewhere to tinker with electronics.

The hardest part of caring for a Pidge is ensuring she gets enough sleep and exercise. The most recent patch has made her more inclined to tolerate outdoor activities, but she doesn’t often seek exercise for its own sake, so you’ll need to ensure she gets enough of it. Pidge is notorious for her love of coffee as well, and while limiting her supply may make her irritated, it will help ensure that she passes out long enough to get six hours of sleep.

### Compatibility With Other Models

Pidge is known to be a rather finicky model, occasionally moody and picky about who she spends her time with. But she was designed to work well with the other VoltronLD models. For outside-series models she may get along with, your best bet is to stick close with other tech-savvy units.

  * **Hunk** : (VoltronLD Line) “Stop touching my things” is a phrase you’ll hear Pidge tell Hunk at least once, but after some acquaintance Pidge becomes less territorial, especially once Hunk proves he knows exactly what he’s doing when it comes to building things. With these two, you will want to set aside a garage so that they can have an area to entertain themselves with various mechanical and computer parts. If you have a Kieth model, you’re going to need an _extremely_ large garage. Note that while Hunk has been known to boost the mood of a Pidge who is already in a good place, he’s not known for being able to mitigate a Pidge who is feeling especially irritable, although he can tone down some of Pidge’s wackier ideas. Pidge is fond of finding bizarre or disgusting foods, and getting Hunk to eat them.
  * **Lance** : (VoltronLD Line) While Pidge and Lance tend to start off a bit rough, they do become friendly quickly. We _strongly_ recommend the calming presence of a Shiro or Hunk model, because left to their own devices these two will send a household into chaos, panic and disorder. Pidge gets enough strange ideas on her own, and Lance exacerbates this since he often considers options Pidge doesn’t, and _no_ idea is too weird for either of them to try at least once. Lance is useful for boosting Pidge’s mood when Pidge is feeling especially cantankerous, but it’s important to reaffirm Lance’s self esteem since he often acts as a target for Pidge’s ire. Helmets and non-slip shoes advised.
  * **Keith** : (VoltronLD Line) Pidge and Keith are very goal oriented and somewhat territorial individuals, but oddly enough this means they understand and get along with each other extremely well, since they understand that sometimes all the other needs is some space. Get them some sort of motorcycle to tinker with so they have something to do together. Keep Keith away from Pidge when Pidge is genuinely irritated.
  * **Shiro** : (VoltronLD Line) Shiro occupies a psuedo-brother role for Pidge, possibly because of Shiro’s associations with the Matt Holt and Sam Holt models. Shiro is excellent for directing Pidge when she’s being especially peevish. Don’t let Pidge adjust the software in Shiro’s Galra Arm. Don’t be fooled if she doesn’t ask permission - make this one of the first conversations you have with her, otherwise she’ll take the position, “You didn’t say I _couldn’t_.” These two otherwise get along just fine.
  * **Coran** : (VoltronLD Line) Due to their comparable technological expertise, Pidge and Coran get along just fine. It’s best for everyone involved that nobody eat Coran’s cooking, however.
  * **Allura** : (VoltronLD Line) Pidge and Allura get along well enough, but expect some disappointment from Allura in that Pidge is not very interested in dress up or gossip.



 

  * **All Galra Empire Models** : No positive interaction between the Garla empire models and any models from the VoltronLD line have been recorded under factory settings, as the models were designed to be incompatible. Expect damage to occur to all models if kept under one household. _Do not keep Galra models under the same roof as Voltron models. This will void your warranty due to avoidable damage caused by improper use_. This line includes but is not limited to: Zarkon, Haggar, Prorok, Morvok, Throk, and Lotor.
  * **Zendak & Haxus**: While Pidge does not function alongside most Galra Empire models, she’s been recorded as having an unusually explosive response to the presence of the Zendak and Haxus models. We are not being metaphorical about the “explosive” part. The largest recorded blast radius was two miles.



### FAQ

 **Q** : Can I order a Pidge that’s 18+?

 **A** : Currently Pidge is not manufactured at that age. This may change with later generations, but no promises.

 

 **Q** : Is there a swearing setting that can be turned on?

 **A** : As amusing as it would be to have a smol angry teenage girl burst into the kitchen every morning yelling, “SUP MOTHERFUCKERS,” Pidge does not come with a swear mode.

 

 **Q** : Pidge keeps breaking into nearby government facilities. How do I get her to stop? I’m really tired of scary men in uniform showing up at my home.

 **A** : Your best bet to stop this behavior is to invest in the Matt Holt and Sam Holt models from the Voltron_GalaxyGarrison line. Barring that, setting Shiro to keep an eye on her will help lower incidents of this behavior, but not stop it completely. If you do not acquire a Sam or Matt, you may need to relocate. No, one of those child-leashes won’t help.

 

 **Q** : The dishwasher is shooting lasers.  
**Q** : My house now has mechanical spider legs and walked off.  
**Q** : My car now only plays Carly Rey Jensen.  
**Q** : My furniture is on the ceiling.  
**Q** : My social media accounts are now full of embarrassing pictures I don’t remember taking.  
**Q** : My home security system is insisting that I call it Hal and won’t let me leave the house.  
**Q** : The walls are bleeding.

 **A** : We told you during installation to provide Pidge an electrical outlet and your wifi password. It’s too late now.

 

 **Q** : I'm confused. Is Pidge a boy or a girl?  
**A** : Yes.

### Aftermarket Tampering

This guide covers the default specifications of Pidge, which do _not_ include Shipping settings, swearing settings, or age-up modifications. Downloading software modifications or installing hardware changes from third party vendors voids the warranty and we will charge for any repairs to software or hardware that occur as a result of unauthorized modifications to your Pidge.


	2. Seasons 3 & 4 Patch Notes

Season 3 & 4 Patch Notes

We’ve combined the Season3 and Season4 patch notes for Pidge, predominantly because the Season3 patch was mostly for maintenance purposes and saw no significant changes in functionality.  ~~ Thankfully nothing broke.  ~~

Season 4 saw the release of the Matt Holt model for wider purchase. This means your Pidge is much more likely to run into a Matt Holt model, if you haven’t already bought one yourself.

###  Compatibility With Other Models

  * **Matt Holt** : (VoltronLD_Human) Expect a lot of excitability from your Pidge upon first encountering a Matt Holt. Pidges and Matts have a lot of similarities, both in terms of appearance and how they think, which is expected as they are sibling models. Expect occasional synchronization in terms of speech patterns and ideas. Pidge will be noticeably happier in the presence of a Matt.



###  FAQ

**Q** : Pide has begun crying inconsolably.

**A** : Either a Matt model you own has needed to be decommissioned, or a Matt outside of your home has been decommissioned. Unfortunately, the removal of a damaged Matt model is extremely traumatic for a Pidge. She will need to undergo a factory reset.

 

**Q** : How do I keep Pidge from stealing the neighbor’s Matt?

**A** : By getting one of your own. 

 

**Q** : Pidge has stolen  _ all  _ of the Matts in the neighborhood. It’s gotten weird.

**A** :  ~~ Why would a harem of Matts be a problem? Fine fine. ~~ This is best solved by again, getting a Matt model of your own. If you already have a Matt model and Pidge continues to collect them from the neighborhood, the presence of a Shiro or Hunk is helpful for getting her to calm down.

 

**Q** : Why is Pidge’s room always such a mess?

**A** : Because she’s Pidge.

 

**Q** : Why has Pidge suddenly acquired an interest in iceskating?

**A** : This seems to happen when both a Pidge and a Lance get the Season 4 patch. A Pidge sans Lance doesn’t seem to acquire this new hobby. 


End file.
